Have you ever woken up, wondered who these people are in your place and which one of them played your guitar last night? How could they have knocked it out of tune so badly? Why does peanut butter belong in tremolo springs? And on the day of your first recording session after receiving your advance from the record company. You could be screwed but you had the insight to install an Evertune in your back up. Pretty hard for your drunken party pals to pull that puppy out of perfect pitch.
I understand new things are confusing. Self driving cars, VR goggles, the zombie apocalypse, it’s all over whelming. That’s what I’m here for. I dig into the gritty details of perpetually tuned guitar bridges so you can succeed at guitar or whatever else you do, maybe botany? That’s why I’m excited, proud, and all around elated to announce the Guitar Gutter is now a certified Evertune installer. We’re also the only certified installer in the front range.
If you haven’t tried one I have one on hand. If you have questions just call. If you need additional advice outside the guitar realm I’ll do my best.
It’s that time of year when South Broadway in Denver, CO is jammed up with tasty jams. The Underground Music Showcase features too many bands for me to count and twelve venues. The Guitar Gutter with Flipside music will have a booth at the main stage area in the abandoned Kmart parking lot. Don’t let the setting fool you, the only blue light special will come in pill form from the dude with a curled mustache and wide brimmed hat. For artists playing the event, we will be offering a 20% discount on emergency repair services on guitars and basses!!!! We’ll have parts and strings on hand, just look for our coupon in your artist packages!Come check us out! www.theums.com
Big news! Guitar Gutter Group Incorporated LLC is teaming up with Flipside Music at 1673 South Acoma Street Denver CO, 80223 as their primary guitar repair service solution. This means easy drop off and pickup, easier transactions, and a selection of strings and accessories I neither have the space nor capital to provide, along with a butt load of pedals and other cool shit.
I will still handle existing customers out of the Gutter for setup and electronic work. All new customers and structural work will be handled at Flipside. I’ll also be able to focus on custom builds and mods there so my neighbors lungs are no longer my sole dust collection system.
For repair questions please call me, Nick, at 720-336-0140. For questions about Flipside Music please call Ike or Dylan at 1-888-598-2637
I have many problems. I wake up in strange clothes, I yell at children on the light rail, and my 401k won’t provide me a retirement in even the cheapest RV park. But this is the most common one I deal with…the Ibanez RG8. An affordable 8 string that was just born bad. Being a cool dude in the metal scene means I get to handle lots of new, cutting edge gear that goes chugga chugga. I do enjoy fondling other peoples property but anytime one of these lands in my sinkhole I put on my counselor gloves and probe why the player thought this purchase was a good idea. Let’s start with the original sin.
It’s too fucking short! 27 god damn inches is not long enough. I mean yea, it’s longer than any low energy old man 6 string but Ibanez knows everyone wants to be Tosin or Ihsahn or Thordendal. That means the F# just aint low enough! Everyone drops their panties and their string for that low E. At 27″ a standard 0.074 isn’t just a sloppy floppy wet noodle, it’s a signal of ones lack of virility and prowess. If them chugs aren’t tight no ones gonna get on your groove. The audience doesn’t want to swim through your muddy brown sound morass of flubba flubba. So how can we get that chugga chugga? Well, the thicker the better to ram that djent home. So let’s install an 0.080
Oh wait, it don’t fit and I’m out of lube. So the player just got suckered into this and they’re not leaving without that low E so let’s make it fit. First I ream out the ferrule
Then the tuner
Gotta file that nut slot
File the saddle…
Compensate for an intonation screw that’s too long and pinches the string before it’s intonated
And finally after all that it fits
So was that it? Is that all it takes? Don’t get your hopes up. The 0.080 is better but your really only draining the swamp of doody and replacing it with mud. Consider that a standard bass is 34 inches and uses a .105 gauge string for that E1. So not only is the Ibanez RG8 lacking in length but pumping it up to give it that extra girth can bust it apart at the seams. 27 and 0.080 aint enough change to ride the E1 line. Go buy a 30 incher.
I have a friend, let’s call him Carol. Carol lives in the South Pole research station. He has the largest known pedal collection south of the horn. Problem is there’s no more ice to study what with global warming so he needs to sell some gear for the boat ticket home but the used pedal market went bust down there. That’s where I come in. Click on these reverb links and buy these pedals so Carol can get home to his lovely wife and horrible children (they really need some sense knocked into them).
After a two month temporary eviction the Guitar Gutter is back up and badder than ever. Better I mean, better is gooder. Had a spat with the landlord. He saw how cool it is here in the Gutter. He moved in, started wearing my clothes, basically stole my identity and tried to become me. If you had your guitar repaired here recently I apologize for not preventing that shaved ape from gunking up your gear…
Lot’s of cool projects in the works. Check back soon.
lay down right here
This is not the update i wanted to post. Gutter living has it’s perks; little sun, spiders, hearing the neighbors above argue and bang, but there is a downside too. While away for the day chasing loose women and spilling boxes of loose screws on the floor of my favorite junk shop a pipe burst in my apartment last week. I came home to an inch of water over the whole place. I’m currently shacking up with political refugees. Anyway, no guitar services will be performed in the GuitarGutter for some time. Here, have a look